It's dark, the mood is set, you're comfortable...oh ya, it's happy time! Yes, it's another fun night at the movies and we're going to spread our non-dairy, flavorful movie and television reviews everywhere! From the big screen all the way to the sticky shelves of your local video conglomerate! We'll bring them all to you in full blown "Tosser Vision"!
Holed Down the Rabbit Hole
I love Tim Burton. He’s one of the few directors who can draw me into any movie, no matter what it’s about. He could direct a documentary about how pies are made and I’d be engulfed (actually, that sounds pretty sweet when said out loud). In fact, he’s put out some of my favorites, including Ed Wood: my all time, number one favorite flick. But I’m sure we all can agree that his last few efforts haven’t been so amazing (Charlie and the Chocolate and the Corpse Bride kinda missed the mark). And after I heard about him helming Alice in Wonderland, I had mixed emotions: looked cool, but could easily become a little too much. So with a positive outlook I entered the theater, ready for classic Burton and I was gravely disappointed.
I’m not too familiar with the Alice in Wonderland series, only having seen the Disney version as a kid, so I gave Mr. Burton full trust to walk me through this world/sequel, which I’m sure was pulled astray from the original storylines. All the main characters are there that you remember: the Cheshire Cat, the Smoking Caterpillar, The Queens: both red and white. The story was pretty accessible: after years of being in the real world, Alice returns to her precious Wonderland, where everything has gone awry in her absence…but overall, it still left a bad taste in my mouth.
The style is classic Tim Burton…well, in a sense. It’s classic NEW Tim Burton: the new crazy colorful, psychedelic fashion he’s cobbled up since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I miss his old and dreary grayscale look, because despite the lack of color, it had much more personality and character. And unfortunately, the movie suffers from being almost completely filmed in front of a green screen, which I’m officially tired of. When your main character is the ONLY thing that is alive in a movie for more than 20 minutes, you’re doing something wrong. I get that technology has grown so much in the last 15 years, but that doesn’t mean we should omit sets or props. I got an aggravation headache from staring so intently at nothing for close to two hours. Johnny Depp’s flat, strange, and mostly inaudible performance didn’t save it like I thought it would. And don’t get me started on his mind-numbingly REDICULOUS dance scene after the final battle. Yes, that’s right: battle. When did poor sweet Alice become an action star?
So I left the theater feeling pretty down. I just came from a Tim Burton movie, that for all intensive purposes, I would actively avoid seeing ever again. I miss the good, old quirky Tim Burton that pushed mainstream audiences away, and drew in a special crowd, rather than vice versa. Perhaps he should stick with projects he REALLY cares about, rather than re-do’s or sequels. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a VHS copy of Edward Scissorhands to drown my sorrows in.
CLICK HERE TO WRITE A COMMENT
