It's dark, the mood is set, you're comfortable...oh ya, it's happy time! Yes, it's another fun night at the movies and we're going to spread our non-dairy, flavorful movie and television reviews everywhere! From the big screen all the way to the sticky shelves of your local video conglomerate! We'll bring them all to you in full blown "Tosser Vision"!

Some Thursday Movie News! (01-07-10)

First, and most importantly, the first images from MacGruber have hit the interwebs. Universal has released three pictures that feature Will Forte, Kristen Wiig and Ryan Phillipe. The rest of the cast includes non-other than Val-f*cking-Kilmer and Powers-f*cking-Boothe. That’s right. Powers. Boothe. If you don’t know who Powers Boothe is then you can go to hell.

Here’s the official synopsis for MacGruber:

Only one American hero has earned the rank of Green Beret, Navy SEAL and Army Ranger. Just one operative has been awarded 16 purple hearts, 3 Congressional Medals of Honor and 7 presidential medals of bravery. And only one guy is man enough to still sport a mullet. In 2010, Will Forte brings Saturday Night Live’s clueless soldier of fortune to the big screen in the action comedy MacGruber.

In the 10 years since his fiancée was killed, special op MacGruber has sworn off a life of fighting crime with his bare hands. But when he learns that his country needs him to find a nuclear warhead that’s been stolen by his sworn enemy, Dieter Von Cunth (Val Kilmer), MacGruber figures he’s the only one tough enough for the job.

Assembling an elite team of experts-Lt. Dixon Piper (Ryan Phillippe) and Vicki St. Elmo (Kristen Wiig)-MacGruber will navigate an army of assassins to hunt down Cunth and bring him to justice. His methods may be unorthodox. His crime scenes may get messy. But if you want the world saved right, you call in MacGruber.

Second, the release date for the soon-to-be pile-of-dog-sh*t Spider-Man 4 has been pushed back. This turn of good fortune has moved back the date on which we will all be assaulted and insulted by the latest abortion-of-a-comic-book movie from Sam Raimi. Spider-Balls 4 was supposed to come out on May 6, 2011 but has been pushed back because Raimi can’t decide which script is more terrible than the others. The real news here is that some actually good movies have pushed up their release dates since Spidey vacated its prime blockbuster real estate. Thor has seized the May 6 date thus vacating its former release date of May 20 which has been swooped upon by Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

Finally, and of least importance, the sequel to G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra has gotten two writers—two very good writers. Fresh off their success with Zombieland, writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick will be writing the yet-unnamed sequel to Rise of Cobra. None of the uptight, snobby movie critics liked Rise of Cobra, so if you’re wondering why Paramount is moving ahead with a sequel then know this: Rise of Cobra made $300 million and helped move tons of toys. When that happens you get sequels. I was entertained by Rise of Cobra but Channing Tatum is always a bad casting decision. That guy is in the same league as Hayden Christensen and Paul Walker.

Also, Reese and Wernick will be the writing team behind the upcoming Deadpool starring Ryan Reynolds.