It's dark, the mood is set, you're comfortable...oh ya, it's happy time! Yes, it's another fun night at the movies and we're going to spread our non-dairy, flavorful movie and television reviews everywhere! From the big screen all the way to the sticky shelves of your local video conglomerate! We'll bring them all to you in full blown "Tosser Vision"!

Horror Movie News!!

What’s up you tossing mongols?!

“The Whore of Horror” here, back to make your nightmares even more…nightmarish! So I figured I would do some research and give all of my wonderful fans and readers an update about what is going on in the biz and buzz of Hollywood’s Horror Movie Machine…so here we go:

“Jeepers Creepers 3: The Creeper Walks Among Us” has been confirmed and this would make it the 3^rd movie for the “Jeepers Creepers” franchise. The Director, Victor Salva recently spoke to Fangoria about the upcoming sequel and here were his thoughts on his new masterpiece: “It’s tentatively titled ‘Jeepers Creeper 3: The Creeper Walks Among Us’, It includes a prologue in the Old West and might bring back several characters from the first two films, 20 years later”. The script and story will be big on scares and give us plenty more of the traditional “Creeper” creepiness, and hopefully more back-story on what/who the “Creeper” might be and where it/he came from. (MGM) initially suggested that we go direct to video with the third in the trilogy, but we hope that the exciting entity that the new MGM is becoming realizes that both ‘Jeepers Creepers’ films set [then-] records for their (Labor Day) weekend box-office openings, before each went on to make over $100 million a piece on DVD. I believe a theatrical release is critical to this kind of success and I don’t think you can have one without the other, and it would be a shame not to be able to see what I have planned for ‘Jeepers 3′ up on the big screen.” - www.fangoria.com

“Portrait Of a Zombie” - a new Irish production made film, has been set to be released in Ireland, with no US dates scheduled at this time. This movie centers around an irish teenager named Billy, who is bit by a zombie and his family chooses to care for him, even though he is a zombie…family ties never had it so good.

AFTER DARK HORROR FILMS has released the 7^th title for the 2010 horror movie collection, in which we all know will be called “AFTER DARK HORROR FILMS IV”. The new release, “Reeds” is the 7^th of eight films that will be released in 2010, so be sure to keeping checking back with us for release dates and then get your simian asses to a theatre near you so you can watch them. Even if you don’t get a chance to make it to the movie theatre, it’s ok, they will all be released to DVD later in the year…we won’t mock you if you wait until then…well…NO MUCH…any ways.

“The Stepfather” will be released to DVD on February 9^th. This was considered one of the most horrible remakes of 2009. But oh well!

“GHOSTBUSTERS 3” has been confirmed by Sigourney Weaver, in a recent interview she did for her new film , Avatar.

“Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever”, new movie trailer has been released. You can find it on youtube and other video sharing sites. Honestly, this film looks like its going to blow. Eli Roth has had no involvement on this film and I am afraid it just might ruin the franchise.

“Halloween 3D” the franchise is looking for script writers to make this movie into a 3D experience. Come on now, how many 3D movies will we have to pay for until they stop making these things. Yes it’s cool, but then again the ticket is like $12 on up, I don’t know about you but that is a little bit more expensive to me than I’d like it to be.

“Resident Evil: Afterlife” – Yes, even Milla Jovovich uses Twitter! And she recently Twittered about the news on the latest in the RE franchise…Here is what she said, “RE Afterlife IS NOT officially pushed. There have been talks of pushing it as they [are] not sure they can have it ready by July. We [are] trying as hard as we can to still meet the summer deadline though, so for the moment its still on for August.”

“Nightmare on Elm Street” is another in a very, very, VERY long and some would say…TOO DRAWN OUT of a franchise…but hell! … who am I to screw with someone else’s pocketbook? This is a “remake” after all, and we all know how Hollywood is just freaking whoring everything they have on remakes now-a-days…so what can you do? This time, taking the wheel is Michael Bay, from Platinum Dunes Production Company and will be released in theaters April 16, 2010. And remember the punk from the original “Bad News Bears”? Ya, neither do I, Laurence tried to explain that one to me…but I told him (Laurence) that I’m like 20 years his junior…that really pissed him off. Any way…that teen, biker-rebel is none other than Jackie Earle Haley, who also ruthlessly portrayed the masked vigilante “Rorschach” in Watchmen…well check this out…he’s going to play the new Freddy Krueger!! How F*&KING cool is THAT?!

“Jonah Hex” (Marvel Comics) Directed by Jimmy Hayward. With Megan Fox, John Malkovich, Michael Fassbender and Josh Brolin in the title roll. This latest in comic book adaptations will be released on June 10, 2010. The story is based off of 1970’s comic of the same name, which follows a former alcoholic, Jonah who is a confederate soldier turned supernatural gunslinger.

RELEASE DATES:

THE CRAZIES
Release Date: February 26

SHUTTER ISLAND
Release Date: February 19

THE WOLFMAN
Release Date: February 12

LEGION
Release Date: January 22

DAYBREAKERS
Release Date: January 8

So there ya go tossers, an up-to-date horror movie update! (redundant…I know). I, for one am really looking forward to some of these films being released to theatrical and then to DVD. But, what I’m really looking forward to is…GHOSTBUSTERS 3 !!!! OMG !!!! Seriously! I wonder if all the characters are coming back? If not…it just might suck like a apparitional vortex. Besides that, it will be exciting to see what happens in the future for horror movies.